why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
