people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
false alarm. still invincible.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize