hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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