there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is my gift to your gina
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize