if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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