Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
