Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize