i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
