I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
