can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can you bring me the toilet please
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
