Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
