Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize