Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
