apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
