Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
