I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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