i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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