Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
