Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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