You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
