There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
