Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize