i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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