i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
