What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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