I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
