Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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