we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My ass is underappreciated
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
