Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sext me about skeletons
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
