Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
