Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
