I wish my penis had an off switch
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
operation have a gay friend backfired
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
