Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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