You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
