I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
