Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize