Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
