I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
