i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
