I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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