nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
