When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I could fuck to npr.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
