I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
