Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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