Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
