Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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