R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
