obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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