I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
