I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
