No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
