My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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