Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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