Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
