forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
