jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
