I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize