Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
