my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize