Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
