oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
