Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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(214): View more from Texas

Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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(804): View more from Virginia

i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song

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(315): View more from New York

MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!

(315): View more from New York

AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...

(847): View more from Illinois

Marry him.

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(813): View more from Florida

Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.

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