rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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