I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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