do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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