this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
