If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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