this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
